How can I not have time?

Hi, I'm a home mommy. We're on summer break so I have both my two children with me all of every day and I try to add in interesting things to break up a week and draw interest. But if I wanted to... if I wanted to... I could, in theory at least, do nothing.

All day.

How can I not have time? I should have time.

I joined critters a few weeks ago and need to write one critique each week for them. One! Sounds doable, right? Why am I finding this difficult?

I also signed up for two classes from SavvyAuthors. One on weapons and a shorter one on writing flash stories (stories under 1000 words, is the quick and dirty definition). Still that's not too much. Oh and I made an account at AgentQueryConnect when I saw it listed on one of the blogs I follow as a good connection place for writers, though I haven't done anything there yet. The people in the two Urban Fantasy groups seem nice though -- from the group emails I now get.

I suppose I also have this, the blog -- but really, I don't spend much time here. I'll get notifications if someone talks to me (sometimes immediately, sometimes a few hours afterward, that part is a little odd), but with it being a personal blog rather than an industry informational it doesn't require scads of research and planning so it it goes by quickly.

And I usually try out a new recipe for Hubby and friends for Wednesday lunch. And the ever-present, continuous string of doctors appointments because my blood likes to clot and my abdomen likes to swell. Next one, tomorrow, then two next week. Glarg.

But still... how do I not have time?

Obviously I'm wasting too much time somewhere. Rss feeds are useful in keeping up with publishing -- though perhaps I've learned enough to push me on to the next step and I should stop until I'm ready to query again? Critters is interesting, but I'm not sure I have the ability to make permanent critiquing friends from email interactions -- I do still have some permanent friends from my Due-November group when I was pregnant with my youngest (three -- nearly four -- years ago) but we started in different places talking about the pains of pregnancy rather than pointing out potential problems in manuscripts.

One might suggest my issue is that, in trying to experience all of critters, my short has finally come up for review, but really everyone has been very nice about it -- well, the last critter didn't like it at all, but the other four were very positive, pointing out only minor problems I'd seen myself, but hadn't yet figured out how to fix without making it too long to be considered a short. But really, that hasn't been bad at all. Even the guy who thought it was entirely bad was interesting and (perhaps unintentionally?) makes a point that everyone's tastes are different.

But I'm feeling very scattered lately. And like I'm running out of time. -- Which, as I've been saying, should be ridiculous since I'm lucky enough to not have to earn a paycheck.

Still, I need to do something. Change something. Make time.

And the children are here to stay, so I'm leaning toward giving up critters. I'm considering cutting back industry related rss feeds. (I dropped digg months ago, deciding that was too much a time suck.) AQC hasn't asked anything of me yet, so I'm going to try sticking with them for a while -- I would still like to find  a critique group someday (though logically, I need to finish the next story before I really need one --Hello, new critique group, no, I suck terribly and have nothing for you to read, I just wanted you around so someday in the future when I did write something, I'd know where to find you).

But the point of this hideously long droning on forever post?

Two hundred words.

Yep, that's all I've written this week -- you know, in story form. There's more than that on today's blog entry, but on this story that I've considered and thought about and struggled with by filling out information sheets for the characters, finding goals and there reasons for moving... There, I've written two hundred words. And I feel like I've spent the whole week busy.

How can I not have time?

What do you give up first when you're feeling overwhelmed?