The Optimist (and that's optimist, not Optometrist -- something that confused me when I was much younger) thinks the glass is half-full.
The Pessimist thinks the glass is half-empty.
Sir Apropos of Nothing (Tong Lashing, Peter David) wonders why there wasn't enough liquid available to fill the glass all the way up the first time.
Husband quotes an engineer joke (I don't listen close enough to have remembered the source) that it's neither half-empty or half-full, but the wrong size glass.
How many more of these are there? What's your favorite?
I've heard the drunk response which is to quote the optimist/pessimist views and then say, "But I look at a half-empty glass and say, where's the damn bartender!" But again, this is only used by drunks and is not actually funny.
ReplyDeleteI personally like a quote from an Indigo Girls song:
ReplyDelete"Is the glass half-full or empty, I ask her as I fill it.
She says it doesn't really matter, pretty soon you're bound to spill it."
Takes pessimism to a whole new level.
I hadn't heard either of them -- though I have to admit I like the Indigo Girls version better. :)
ReplyDeleteTerry Pratchett said, and I'm paraphrasing, that the world belongs to those who can look at the glass and say "Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? This is not my glass. I had more drink in my glass. And it was bigger. Get me my proper glass, you horrible little man."
ReplyDeleteI love these phrase reworkings!
ReplyDeleteMiss Pedant says "It very much depends on the status of activity surrounding the glass - if you were in the process of filling it, then it is half full, it you were in the process of drinking it, then it is half empty"
ReplyDeleteMr Fatalist says "doesn't matter, half full or half empty, either way it's probably poison"
Those are the two that I like, anyhow :)
I get a real sense of glee every time I get new ones. Please, keep them coming!
ReplyDelete